There are still tens of old photographs displayed on a bookshelf in my dad's study. He would always bring his camera to take pictures of his family and some of his work-especially me and my younger brother with swimsuit when we were 5 and 4- are still on his desk with old frame. He would smile and reminisce about his pleasant memory with his family whenever looking at them. The two photos, "Playing in Street Sprinkler" and "Children Playing Baseball" are focusing on children as their main interest by creating soft atmosphere. But the positioning of the children is somewhat different and thus, the mood of the photos is different.
In "Playing in Street Sprinkler", a group of children-roughly ten- are playing in a sprinkler which is spouting water. Water from the sprinkler makes the picture refreshing and cool as if it quenches the kids' thirst. The main center of interest is children and they are located on the left periphery. The children seem to enjoy spending time together as they are yelling and running around. Also, there are antique yet organized buildings standing in a row in the background as well as some people passing by. Since all those objects are positioned in the left side of the photo it creates dynamic and liberating mood. The children look so active as if they are going to run towards to the end of the left corner and conical shaped body of water looks like it will reach up to the sky to cool off the heat.
In "Children Playing Baseball", approximately twenty kids are gathered together in an alley. Few kids are playing baseball while other smaller kids watch them playing. The tallest boy in the center is about to throw the ball as if he is the best pitcher in the world. The children are distributed evenly on the left, middle, and right periphery. Few kids in the left corner are paying attention to the game except for the smallest girl. The girl interestingly staring at the front while everybody is looking at the different point. There are majority of the kids in the middle who are focusing on the game. Two or three kids are standing right next to the players and that makes them look like enthusiastic fan. In the right corner, several kids are standing on a big old wagon while watching the game. On the top of the photo, there are square and rectangular jagged laundries fluttering in wind. Because of the even position of the children, the photo creates calm and peaceful atmosphere. It feels like it is quiet and still. Besides, the square shaped laundries, which are considered to be stable, make the atmosphere more tranquil.
Both photographs share similarities in terms of focusing children. As they pay attention to children, they elicit wistful and nostalgic atmosphere. In "Playing in Street Sprinkler", the children as well as background objects are positioned on the left side that makes the photo more live and animating. Additionally, the buildings in the back seem to be continued and this creates the mood that this pleasant moment will last forever. In "Children Playing Baseball" has more peaceful and quiet environment compared to the previous photo because the children are evenly positioned in the left, middle, and right periphery. Uneven laundries hung on the top look a bit cluttered but since they're in square shape it offsets untidiness by their square and rectangular shape.
The two photos are mainly reflecting children doing something. One is vibrant and active as it put the main interest in the left corner. The other one is calm and still by distributing the main interest evenly. Yet, the two photos creates nostalgic mood that makes people recall their past.
From Yujin Park
ReplyDelete1. Does the introduction include an interesting hook?
Yes,the writer introduces with her own experience.
2. Does the introduction include the titles of the photographs and the names of the photographer?
The titles of the photographs are included but the name of the photographer aren't.
3. Did the writer use any of the photographic terms below?
Yes. the writer put some terms such as background, mood.
4. Did the writer anaylze the message of each photograph?
Yes, I think so.
5. Does paragraph 4 explain the similarities and differences between the two photographs?
Yes, paragraph 4 explains that the two photos share the similarities of focusing children.
and it also explains a little about the differences.
6. similes the writer used:
In my opinion, It's hard to find similes.
7. Does the conclusion evaluate the effects of the photographs? Yes, the writer conclude by summarizing the different effect between the
two photos. However, it would be much better if she adds more specific details in the conclusion.
1. The writer used her own experience as a introduction, but it is hard to connect with the main point. It seems the writer need more cohesion to make it clear.
ReplyDelete2. The writer used advanced vocabulary which raise the quality of the essay.
3. The writer excluded her own opinion or feelings. It helps me to imagine the photo objectively compared to other essays. I like this point because it reduces misunderstanding of the real photo.
4. Conclusion is too short, it harms balance among paragraphs. You don't need to expand the paragraph only for its length. But i suggest you to balance the lengths.