All people want to be happy. We wish each other to be happy every day. But, why don't we feel happy enough? It is probably because that we actually don't know how to be happy. Most of us feel that we could 'gain' happiness after a hard work or pain. Some even says that those hard moments would compensate you later, so you need to be patient until you reach somewhere. But in my opinion, if we are unhappy, we can't do anything. It is easier than you assume, happiness is nearby. Those are 3 steps that I usually use to find happiness in my daily life.
First, do some exercises. Since I am a student who takes 11 courses in a semester, I don't have enough time to exercise. Therefore, I found dad time that I can do small exercises like stretching or walking. When I feel tired, I choose to walk. As I mentioned before, I have no enough time to do, I took off the subway or train much before than my destination. While walking, I face many unusual things like sellers in the streets or people who I don't know. Not only it helps physically move, it also helps us to encounter new things. Meeting extraordinary things made me feel gratitude on my daily life.
If I can't satisfied even I walked a lot, I meet people who I love. Those could be friends, seniors or even teachers. Through talking with people, our distracting thoughts are organized. Because we need to communicate with them, our brain works much organized way than alone. Usually, we don't feel any happiness since we are in complicated situation or thoughts. Thus, those talks assist our mind to be calm. Moreover, we can get wisdom from them by listening what they already experienced or what they think about. The best thing is – we can eat delicious dishes in a fancy restaurant also!
Last but not least, we need to care about ourselves. Modern people are so busy that they don't have enough time to be alone. They even should go out on weekend for some extra works or appointment. But in this case, you should make time for meeting yourself. In the Orient, we call it as meditation. Most of the cases, we do it by ourselves, in quiet room or place. But you can do it practically when you take a shower or listen to music.
I've listed 3 steps that I use for daily happiness. It is a first stepping stone to enter great happiness. You only can achieve something when you feel safe mentally. Lack doesn't mean unhappiness. Desiring something also doesn't mean unhappiness. Be firm and keep it simple. Any single tiny things can make you feel happy whole day. Try to find motive act or point for small happiness as much as possible. If you don't have any now, just follow 3 steps that I explained before. I hope all of you feel happy today!
From Seonyoung Hwang to Kayeong Kim
ReplyDelete1. What I like about your writing is that you suggested how to be happy on your introduction and it definitely intrigued my interest.
2. Your main point seems to be that by doing something small you can easily find happiness and that may lead you to find happier life.
3. I personally enjoyed your introduction because your hook makes the reader want to know more by questioning themselves as you did. This hook struck me powerful.
4. I'm quite not sure what your third paragraph tries to suggest. I do understand people need more time for themselves by some time to meditate but it doesn't clearly show why meditation helps them to find happiness.
5. Your writing overall is well written and has interesting support ideas. One suggestion could be that try to show the relations between the sentences. For example, as I mentioned in #4, you could add more details ideas to support why meditation helps people to find happiness. In addition to it, you may add your main points(from the body paragraph) in the conclusion as a sum up.
FROM YUNSEO LO.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote your essay with your experience so it is very interesting and realistic.
The introduction includes a general thesis about the causes of happiness well and your body paragraphs are explained in a logical way very well. Moreover I’m impressive in your thinking that we always find happiness in daily life. It is very useful information to me. And I realize that “happiness is nearby”
But your hook is too general. So if you change your hook, your essay is much better than this.
Thank you!
[Revised one]
ReplyDelete1. Fixed grammatical error - singular and plural
2. For coherence, removed or added sentences.
All people want to be happy. Even I have a life motto as having self-happiness in my life. But, why most of us don’t feel happy enough? It is probably because that we actually don’t know how to be happy. Most of us assume that we could ‘gain’ happiness after a hard work or pain. Some even says that those hard moments would compensate you later, so you need to be patient until you reach goal. But my opinion is different. If we are unhappy, we can’t do anything. It is easier than you assume. Happiness is nearby which means you can find it from small things around you. There are 3 steps that I usually use to find happiness in my daily life.
First, do some exercises. Since I am a student who takes 11 courses in a semester, I don’t have enough time to exercise. Therefore, I find spare time that I can do small exercises like stretching or walking. When I feel tired, I choose to walk. As I mentioned before, I have no enough time to do, I take off the subway or train much before than my destination (usually it is my home). While walking, I face many unusual things like sellers in the streets or people who I don’t know. Not only it helps me physically move, it also helps me to encounter new things by seeing. Meeting extraordinary things make me feel gratitude on my daily life – how graceful my life is.
If I can’t satisfied even I walked a lot, I meet people who I love. The people could be friends, seniors or even teachers. Through talking with people, I feel my distracting thoughts are organized – surely, I need to sum up before talking to them! Because I need to communicate with them, my brain works much organized way than alone. Usually, I think I cannot feel any happiness since I am in complicated situations or thoughts. Thus, those talks assist my mind to be calm. Moreover, I can get wisdom from them by listening what they already experienced or what they think about. The best thing is – I can eat delicious dishes with lovely people in a fancy restaurant also!
Last but not least, I highly recommend you to try this. All modern people need to care about ourselves. People are so busy that they don’t have enough time to be alone. They even should go out on weekend for some extra works or appointment. But in this case, you should make time for meeting yourself. In the Orient, we call it as meditation. So, why meditation is important for us to find happiness? I experienced amazing moment when I try to keeping calm by myself. I felt frustrated and got anger by some reasons. While everything around me was silent, I realized a certain the reason of life – the reason why things were going showing those phenomena. It is similar as religion. Most of religions recommend you to meditate for finding truth.
I’ve listed 3 things that I use for daily happiness. Those are first stepping stone to enter great happiness. You only can achieve something when you feel safe mentally. Lack doesn’t mean unhappiness. Desiring something also doesn’t mean unhappiness. Be firm and keep it simple. Any single tiny things can make you feel happy in whole day. Try to find motive act or point for small happiness as much as possible. If you don’t have any now, just follow 3things that I explained before. I hope all of you feel happy today!