Happiness is the ultimate goal for people's lives. Although everyone has different values on the definition on happiness, but there are no people who want to be unhappy. Basic but hard things like fulfillment, satisfaction, good relationships, etc. can bring us happiness.
First, a good relationship with people nearby is an important cause for happiness.
Second, achievement in job or school works cause happiness. Achieving work satisfaction results in feelings of contentment.
Finally, having peace on people's mind causes happiness. People are sometimes too focused on achieving goal on everything, such as
In conclusion, it is a good idea to always keep a good relationship with other people, and try hard on everything to achieve things. Also,
Sorry,I posted the wrong one. This is the first draft!
ReplyDeleteHappiness is the ultimate goal for people’s lives. Although everyone has different values on the definition on happiness, but there are no people who want to be unhappy. Basic but hard things like fulfillment, satisfaction, good relationships, etc. can bring us happiness. Causes of happiness can be in all aspects of lives, so it’s people’s share of work to find happiness of their own. I consider these three points as the most important things to make people happy.
First, a good relationship with people nearby is an important cause for happiness. It can be a good energy for people to spend time with friends, family or other personal relationships. People sympathize with people around them, and sympathizing usually gives away stresses. In contrast, if people have bad relationships with people around them, it gives great effects other activities because people have emotionally bad condition. Therefore, having more than a good relationship can cause energy in people’s lives and cause happiness.
Second, achievement in job or school works cause happiness. People all have desire of completing their work well enough. Therefore, Achieving work satisfaction results in feelings of contentment. People feel proud and satisfied with themselves which fulfill their desire. So, achievement on their work has a straight connection with happiness.
Finally, simply having peace on people’s mind causes happiness. People are sometimes too focused on achieving goal on everything, such as succeeding in career, or getting good grades at school. This might be a contradiction with the previous paragraph, but it is important to keep balanced between hard working and having peace in people’s mind. People sometimes should calm themselves and take granted for what they have now. Then, they can feel more happiness from content.
In conclusion, it is a good idea to always keep a good relationship with other people, and try hard on everything to achieve things. Also, keeping peace on people’s mind is important. Being happy is hard, but simple things can make people happy.
From Yujin Park
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of essay is your introduction part. It is well organized and attract the attention. Also, I like your three body paragraph explaining three main cause of happiness. It went into details of cause of happiness.
2. Your main point seems that in order to meet true happiness, we should put our efforts into small things. Good relationship, hard working and having peace on our mind.
Small things can make big happiness.
3. These particular words or lines stuck me as powerful:
Causes of happiness can be in all aspects of lives, so it’s people’s share of work to find happiness of their own.
I agree with your point. This statement is interesting enough to attract people's interest and attention to your essay.
4. Your structure of essay is well organized and also, three main points are very interesting with detailed explanations. One thing I would like to suggest you is, in body paragraph, to add your own experiences when you explain three main Points. I think it would be much better.
Thank you for your interesting essay!!
Second draft
ReplyDeleteHappiness is the ultimate goal for people’s lives. Although everyone has different values on the definition on happiness, but there are no people who wants to be unhappy. Basic but hard things like fulfillment, satisfaction, good relationships, etc. can bring us happiness. Causes of happiness can be in all aspects of lives, so it’s people’s share of work to find happiness of their own. I consider these three points as the most important things to make people happy.
First, a good relationship with people nearby is an important cause for happiness. It can be a good energy for people to spend time with friends, family or other personal relationships. People sympathize with people around them, and sympathizing usually gives away stresses. In contrast, if people have bad relationships with people around them, it gives great effects on emotional condition. I always feel happy when I talk to my friends. I can relieve my stress and be emotionally calmed. Therefore, having more than a good relationship can cause energy in people’s lives and cause happiness.
Second, achievement in job or school works cause happiness. People all have desire of completing their work well enough. Therefore, achieving work satisfaction results in feelings of contentment. People feel proud and satisfied with themselves which fulfill their desire. So, achievement on their work has a straight connection with happiness.
Finally, simply having peace on people’s mind causes happiness. People are sometimes too focused on achieving goal on everything, such as succeeding in career, or getting good grades at school. This might be a contradiction with the previous paragraph, but it is important to keep balanced between hard working and having peace in people’s mind. People sometimes should calm themselves and take granted for what they have now. Then, they can feel more happiness from content.
In conclusion, it is a good idea to always keep a good relationship with other people, and try hard on everything to achieve things. Also, keeping peace on people’s mind is important. Being happy is hard, but simple things can make people happy.