“A great obstacle to happiness is to anticipate too great a happiness.” Fontenelle, a French philosopher, once said. There may be nobody who doesn’t want to be happy, but people seek happiness in the distance. However, happiness is not that far away. We can find it in our daily lives.
First of all, delicious food can make us happy. When we sit in one of famous restaurants, we can hear people’s exclamation of delight everywhere. Smiling and laughing, they seem to enjoy their meal. In my case, when I am depressed or stressed out, I eat spicy food or sweet things. As I eat those things, I forget whatever worries or troubles me. While eating an excellent meal or dessert, I get energy so I feel better. I think that’s why a lot of people visit popular restaurants.
However, our loved ones can make us happier. Though delicious food can help us become happy to some extent, it will be no use if we are alone. Aristotle said that “Man is a social animal.” In fact, no man may become happy alone. Relationship is one of most important elements in life. Without friends or family, people cannot be encouraged, supported or comforted. In the end, they feel lonely, which makes them unhappy.
In addition, pursuing the vision is important to be happy. When people don’t have any aim or vision of their own, they don’t know what to do and become at a loss. A vision is a kind of one’s realized hope. Those who have hope can feel happy while trying to make their hope come true. When I entered the university, I was anxious at first because I had already accomplished my goal. So I began to think about my vision and after finding it, I have been happy to pursue it.
We can feel happy with delicious food, good relationship and obvious vision. Having a great meal with family and thinking about my vision with my close friends, therefore, make me happy. Happiness is not far from us, so most important is to try to be happy at every point of life.
To Yujin Song From Ju Hye Choi / Happiness
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that the quotes and the supporting details were appropriate for your writing. It grabbed my attention.
2. Your main point seems to be eating delicious food, being with friends and family and having a vision brings happiness.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
a. “A great obstacle to happiness is to anticipate too great a happiness.” / a great quote to use.
b. “Man is a social animal.” / True, whether you are an introvert or not!
c. While eating an excellent meal or dessert, I get energy so I feel better. / many can relate to this line.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
a. "When I entered the university, I was anxious at first because I had already accomplished my goal."
Maybe be explain a little more why you felt anxious so that we can relate a little better. For example, what was it that not having a goal after accomplishing one made you anxious?
b. "However, our loved ones can make us happier." The line sounds like you will talk about what your loved ones would do to make you happier but your supporting details seem to talk more about how being with your loved ones can make you happier.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is maybe skim through the writing again and change some errors i.e. using double negatives, period before Fontenelle ( ," Fontenelle), etc. Other than that, it was a pleasure to read. It made me want to think more deeply about my vision in life. :)
Start with a philosopher's phrase was very good idea to start. It gives very interesting. But the opening was too short, in my opinion. Also you put Aristotle in the body and that was also helpful to understand. But First of body paragraph that delicious food make us happier was a little bit strange. At the next two paragraph you said something abstract but the first paragraph was not.
ReplyDelete“A great obstacle to happiness is to anticipate too great a happiness,” Fontenelle, a French philosopher, once said. Almost everyone in the world wants to be happy, but people seek happiness in the distance. However, happiness is not that far away. We can find it in our daily lives.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, delicious food can make us happy. When we sit in one of famous restaurants, we can hear people’s exclamation of delight everywhere. Smiling and laughing, they take a mouthful of food and devour it. In my case, when I am depressed or stressed out, I eat chocolate or ice cream. As I eat sweet things, I forget whatever worries or troubles me and get energy, so I feel better. I think that’s why a lot of people visit popular restaurants.
Also, our loved ones make us happy. Though delicious food helps us become happy to some extent, it will be no use if we are alone. We need someone to share the delight and say “The dish is awesome!” Aristotle said that “Man is a social animal.” In fact, no man may become happy alone. Relationship is one of most important elements in life. Without friends and family, we cannot be encouraged, supported or comforted. My mom encouraged me when I spoiled exams and the best friend comforted me when I broke up with my boyfriend. Though I experienced bad things, thanks to them, I felt better soon.
In addition, achieving the goal is important to be happy. When people don’t have any aim in their lives, they don’t know what to do and become at a loss. Set a goal first, and then try to achieve it. It is good to set both the short-term and long-term goal, because while achieving the short-term goal we feel a sense of accomplishment, and when pursuing the long-term goal we do not give up hope. With confidence, I value my life and think of me as a useful person. With hope, I find everyday exciting because I know my dream comes true little by little.
We feel happy with delicious food, good relationship and goals. Having a great meal with family and studying with close friends to accomplish the goal, therefore, make me happy. Happiness is not far from us, so most important is to try to be happy at every point of life.