"What factors are necessary to become a…" this is a common question when we gather information about jobs we want to have. As old saying says, lf you know your enemy and yourself, you can win every battle. In my case, I want to be a high school teacher. Then, what abilities are important as teacher and what abilities I possess to become a teacher?
First one is a great ability at teaching. I think I'm quite good at teaching. Teaching itself is one of the most important factors for becoming a high school teacher. In these days, however, incompetence of teachers' instruction stirs up social controversy. It is about their incapability does not fulfill the needs of students and they are increasingly searching for private tutors. Against this background, my great ability at teaching is essential. To prove this, let me present the example: when I taught a high school student, his English grades was up 30 points compared to the past. It was amazing moment to see his soaring grades from 50 points to 80 point from 100 points. He expressed his sincere gratitude for me. His success was attributed to me.
Second one is my diverse experiences. Roles of teachers are not limited in the scope of studying. Teachers also offer personality education which is hard to be performed only by students' parents, and they are also necessary to tell about the real society or the way people are living outside the textbooks. I think diverse experiences of real life are required to achieve these. When it comes to diverse experiences of mine, I put forth the experience of workers in a manufactory. That was first time that I was out of the textbook after finishing college entrance exam. I learned a lot of things from the manufactory: The relationships between supervisor and worker and the real hardship of making electronic equipment. Moreover, I had train travel two weeks without plans and I went to mountain for hang glide without helping from others.
Last one is responsibility. It is a basic requirement of all occupations. It is especially important for teachers because they are guiding students who are growing up and will take responsibility of the future of our nation. Therefore, the number of teachers who are responsible of their students should be increased. They have to exert themselves to teach them in more effective, creative, and complete ways. In my case, when I was private tutor, I never changed the time we were supposed to meet except for when a student wanted to change the time because of his personal issues.
To sum up, a great ability at teaching, diverse experiences, and responsibility are the most important factors to become a teacher and I have those things which are proved through the examples. Maybe other things are necessary to become a teacher and I'm not qualified enough to be a teacher. But the important thing is this: just go forward to make my dream come true.
To Sang-wook From Jieun
ReplyDelete1. What like about this piece of writing is that your idea was clear to understand.
2. Your main point seems to be "what teachers should possess and you already do is to have an ability to teach, diverse experiences and responsibility."
3. I liked the expression "stirs up social controversy." It was something that was unusual to me!
4. " It is especially important for teachers because they are guiding students who are growing up and will take responsibility of the future of our nation." The subject who's going to take responsibility is little bit confusing.
It was very fun to read. I love your writting. It has lots of contents in it. Also it start as "What factors are necessary to become a..." was really good start. It helps reading all over when I finish reading. Also you wrote well and it has lots contents in it. Like at the first paragraph you use examples to say your ability and it is easy to understand.
ReplyDeleteBut I just wonder you to more focus on the conclusion. Your conclusion is bit weaker than the beginning or the body paragraph. So if you change it you could be better.
1. Yes, there is background information which tells that he wants to become a high school teacher.
ReplyDelete2. I don't think exactly there is a unifying principle.
3. Yes, it does.
First one is a great ability at teaching.
Second one is my diverse experiences.
Last one is responsibility
4. Yes, he added his story to support the controlling idea.
5. Yes, he restate the three categories.
6. Yes. He proposes general statement , and predicts the future.
Ahn Sang-wook/2nd draft
ReplyDelete“What factors are necessary to become a…” this is a common question when we try to gather information about jobs we want to have. As old saying says, lf you know your enemy and yourself, you can win every battle. In my case, I want to be a high school teacher. Then what abilities are important as teacher and what abilities I possess to become a teacher?
First one is a great ability at teaching. Teaching itself is one of the most important factors for becoming a high school teacher. In these days, however, there is an increasing dispute over the incompetence of teaching of teachers. Their incapability does not fulfill the needs of students and thus students are increasingly searching for private tutors. Against this background, my great ability at teaching is essential. I think I’m quite good at teaching. To prove this, let me present the example: when I taught a high school student, his English grade was up 30 points compared to the past. It was amazing moment to see his soaring grade from 50 points to 80 point from 100 points. He expressed his sincere gratitude for me. His success was attributed to me.
Second one is my diverse experiences. Roles of teachers are not limited in the scope of instruction itself. Teachers have to offer personality education which is hard to be performed only by students’ parents, and they are also necessary to tell about a so- called real life or the way people are living outside the textbooks. I think diverse experiences of real life are required to achieve these. When it comes to diverse experiences of mine, I put forth the experience as workers in a manufactory. That was first time that I was out of the textbook after finishing college entrance exam. I learned a lot of things from the manufactory: The relationships between supervisors and workers and the real hardship of making electronic equipment. Moreover, I had train travel two weeks without plans and I went to mountain for hang glide without helping from others. There are more things I will tell students if I become a teacher.
Last one is responsibility. It is a basic requirement of all occupations. It is especially important for teachers because they are guiding students who are growing up. Students will take responsibility of the future of our nation as well. Therefore, the number of teachers who are responsible of their students should be increased. They have to exert themselves to teach them in more effective, creative, and complete ways. In my case, when I was private tutor, I never changed the time we were supposed to meet except when a student wanted to change it because of his personal issues.
To sum up, a great ability at teaching, diverse experiences, and responsibility are the most important factors to become a teacher and I have those things which can be proved through the examples. However, more things might be necessary to become a teacher. For instance, in terms of education degree, I don’t have it right now. However, I’m planning to go a graduate school of education. Anyway, I keep trying hard to achieve my goal and I believe in myself.