| For Free, Is It just Okay ?
Before the Internet was developed, how did people listen to music or watch a movie they want? They usually used to buy music albums like tapes or videos and go to a theater to watch a movie. However, since the appearance of the internet, a lot of things have changed. For example, with these electronic equipments from the MP3 player, PMP, to nowadays especially Smartphone, we can listen to the any music anytime and anywhere. What a convenient world it is! However, with this rapid development of the internet, severe problems are also increasing. One of the problems is about "Copyrights". Actually many people download music, TV programs, or movie on the websites for free illegally. We should not copy or download these illegally for social and ethical reason.
First, copying or sharing something possessed by someone off without permission can be one of the social problems. Because music or pictures are created by one with one's efforts, we should pay and buy to have them. But, many people don't. So many artists who create music or pictures cannot earn money as much as they worked. It results in aggravation various industries in the society. In other words, it can be serious problem.
Second, downloading music files unjustly is wrong behavior for ethical reason. For example, copying or downloading music files or some pictures in an illegal way is like stealing other's assets. Stealing is a violation of laws. But, still the laws about copyrights on the internet has not been strengthened so many users keep downloading music or video files illegally.
I think the reason why this problems appeared is the gap between the pace of the development of the internet or technology and the consciousness of people. Therefore, I think we should understand these music or videos are also kind of items for which we should pay legally and make right culture. |
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Park Ye jee / Argumentative essay/ tue 9 am
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To Ye jee from Jieun
ReplyDelete1. What I liked about this piece of writing is the introduction. It explained the reason why downloading and sharing became usual thing.
2. Your main point seems to be that downloading and sharing should be prohibited.
3. I liked "However, with this rapid development of the internet, severe problems are also increasing." because of the same reason I liked your introduction. It gave your reason why downloading is so prevalent.
4. "First, copying or sharing something possessed by someone off without permission can be one of the social problems." In this sentence, I didn't get the meaning the word "off" gives.
5. I think it would be better if you sum up the whole essay with conclusion.
Your essay has a thesis statement that identifies the your point of view. You asserts that we should not copy or download these illegally for social and ethical reason. And I think that your reasons in the first and second body paragraph 1,2. and the body paragraphs include topic sentences well that support your thesis statement. However, your essay should be five paragraph, but your writing has just only four paragraph. Furthermore, your first paragraph give a long-winded explanation and too general. So I think if you cut your first paragraph, your argument becomes much more stronger. And you should add counter-argument in the third body paragraph, that you make your argument to be much stronger than the other point. Thank you. ^^
ReplyDelete1. What I liked about this piece of writing is the introduction. It explained the reason why downloading and sharing became usual thing.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be that downloading and sharing should be prohibited.
3. I liked "However, with this rapid development of the internet, severe problems are also increasing." because of the same reason I liked your introduction. It gave your reason why downloading is so prevalent.
4. "First, copying or sharing something possessed by someone off without permission can be one of the social problems." In this sentence, I didn't get the meaning the word "off" gives.
5. I think it would be better if you sum up the whole essay with a concluding paragraph.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFor Free, Is It just Okay ?
ReplyDeleteBefore the Internet was developed, how did people listen to music or watch a movie they want? They usually used to buy music albums like tapes or videos and go to a theater to watch a movie. However, since the appearance of the internet, a lot of things have changed. For example, with these electronic equipments from the MP3 player, PMP, to nowadays especially Smartphone, we can listen to the any music anytime and anywhere. What a convenient world it is! Despite this convenience of the internet, severe problems are also increasing. One of the problems is about "Copyrights". Actually many people download music, TV programs, or movie on the websites for free illegally.
We should not copy or download these illegally for social and ethical reasons.
First, copying or sharing something possessed by someone off without permission can be one of the social problems. Because music or pictures are created by one with one's efforts, we should pay and buy to have them. But, many people don't. So many artists who create music or pictures cannot earn money as much as they worked. It results in aggravation various industries in the society. In other words, it can be serious problem.
Second, downloading music files unjustly is wrong behavior for ethical reason.
For example, copying or downloading music files or some pictures in an illegal way is like stealing other's assets. Stealing is a violation of laws. But, the laws about copyrights on the internet hasn’t still been strengthened so many users keep downloading music or video files illegally. I think the reason why this problems appeared is the gap between the pace of the development of the internet or technology and the consciousness of people.
Of course some people could argue that it is like violating freedom to strengthen the law on the internet or it is just ok to download only one or two music files for free. However, before thinking their own freedoms, they should also consider those of creators. Even though we think music files or video files are trivial things, these absolutely belong to private possession. So it is not to violate freedom.
Therefore, I think we should understand these music or videos has owners and pay for those legally and justly. As I mentioned before, with the pace of materialistic development, the consciousness of people also should be developed. Behaving justly is right and necessary attitude on the internet.