Saturday, May 4, 2013

Hwanhee Rhee_Tue 9 a.m._ Argument

The late Mr. Jin-Won Lee, the singer who was known as 'Moonlight Fairy's Reversing Grand Slam', died in 2010 due to his stroke. He was not a mainstream singer, but well known in the underground. Many people thought that he may not have hardships economically, because he had several hit songs, and lived a life without so many troubles.. However, he died because he had no money to cure his disease. In Korea, copyright law guaranteed the providers very poorly. In addition, most of fans who loved his music downloaded his songs illegally.

We should not make other Mr. Lees by giving more loyalties to musicians who produces their own contents. These days, we can download a song with 600 Won, and if we pay for 100 songs or over at once, it can be much cheaper. From this 600 Won, only 12 Won goes to the person who has a copyright. It means that if you are a musician, even if 100,000 of your fans download your song legally, you can only get 1.2 million Won. Let's remember. Mr.Lee's song, <I'm Hobbling> and <Show Me the Money> was very popular song in Korea so that many people thought that he was rich.

Second, the government should prohibit illegal downloads much more strictly. It is too easy to get some contents free illegally. Checking and arresting every single person who download contents illegally is too hard, so the government should track down all of providers who spreads contents illegally. It is not important whether they provide contents for free or not. They should punished much more strongly than before so that people get to know the significance of this crime.

Above all, consumers should change their minds. It sounds so ideal and unrealistic, but so necessary. If we do not change our minds, it is no use prohibiting it strongly. Someone will find a hole of the rule if they think they need to. We should know the importance of paying the contents so that we can enjoy it much better and longer.

One of the late Mr.Lee's songs, <Show Me the Money> is actually a love song, unlike the title. He sings that "Don't abandon me just like this world did to me." Maybe it was a love song for consumers who bought the song legally, unlike the most of people who did not. We should think again which way is the best way to enjoy the cultural contents both for us and makers.

1 comment:

  1. From Seonyoung Hwang to Hwanhee Rhee

    1. Does the essay have five paragraphs? Yes.

    2. Does the essay have a thesis statement that identifies the writer's point of view? I couldn't find your thesis statement that clarifies your position on this issue on the first paragraph.

    3. Do the body paragraphs include topic sentences that support the writer's position? The first body paragraph does not seem to contain a topic sentence but the other two paragraphs do have clear topic sentences.

    4. Does the third body paragraph contain a counter-argument with either a refutation or a concession? No. This piece of writing does not contain a counter-argument and refutation/concession.

    5. Do the details in the body paragraphs support stated in the topic sentences? The second and the third body paragraphs support each topic sentence very clearly.

    6. Does the conclusion restate the thesis in different words, make a prediction, or state the issue in a broader context? The writer restated the example used in the introduction but did not include the restatement of the topic sentences.

    7. Any suggestions? I found the example you used very effective enough to attract readers' attention. Your main point seems to be very clear. However, it'd be much better if you could include counter-argument and refutation/concession to enhance the credibility of your writing. Also, in terms of the introduction paragraph, the example does not seem to clearly show the relation between your example and main idea since it doesn't contain thesis statement.