Wishing on the moon
The 15th day of the new year according to the lunar calendar, Korean people call it Jeongwol Daeboreum and it means full moon of january. They have celebrated this day since the Shilla Dynasty. It is very important day for them because it is the first full moon day of the lunar year. For them, the moon has been a symbol of lightness that throws diseases, misfortunes and darkness. So they make some good plans for the future and hope everything goes well by looking at the moon.
Koreans do several activities on Jeongwol Daeboreum. In the morning of this day, people bite nuts like walnuts, pine nuts, chestnuts and so on because, through this, they believe that their teeth and bodies get stronger and healthier. And also they cook rice mixed with five other grains and share it with their neighborhoods, wishing for a good harvest. On the night, moon-viewing events are held throughout the country. They enjoy the moon in the hills and make a wish. Also farmers predict the weather of the year according to the color of the moon. Aside from these things, there are many activities people do: playing tug-of-war or jumping on a wide stave
In this way, Jeongwol Daeboreum is considered a significant day among many Korean, because all begins after this day. Besides it is a good chance to share a close bond with neighbors by doing the cooking and playing games. If you want to have a successful year, it could be the perfect holiday.
Your writing is interesting, but i think you should add stronger hook, so it can make the readers start reading your essay. Also, I can't see a thesis statement in your introduction paragraph that identifies the process .But I can see a lot of background information about Jeongwol Daeborum, which is helpful for the readers. As this should be an essay of "process", i think you have to divide your body paragraph in to 3 and put some processes of any activity related to Daeborum. But there are good evaluation, recommendations in your conclusion paragraph.
ReplyDelete200904069 Park Ye Jee
ReplyDeleteI think your topic is attracting.and I think in the part of introduction, you need a thesis statement. The background information about Jeongwol Daeborum was helpful to understand your writing.
When it comes to process, you wrote it in chronological order.
I liked that point.
and your conclusion is clear.