"The girl was running to the elevator crying, and he is chasing after her. The elevator door was almost close with one quarter inch, then he pushes the button and it opens. They stare each other without a word."
I really liked to tell my friends about the show which was on TV yesterday. I was into lots of shows and I know the characters of many shows even if I did not watch every show all the time. I could not imagine living without TV at that time. This was the only interesting thing that I would do since I have to study all day long. However, things have been changed after I come to college.
Firstly, there are lots of amusing things but TV. After I come to the university, hanging out with my friends, looking for unique restaurant, talking in café, meeting new people, and doing extra- curricular activities takes most of my time which attracts me putting more time into it than watching TV. Honestly, I don't have time to watch TV. Also, technology has been improving day by day, we could do more exciting things such as online games, SNS(Social Network Service) like facebook or twitter.
Next, the TV is an amusement but also takes role in informed people with lots of materials. They have documentaries, news, arts programs and so on. However, I could keep up with current issues and get various knowledge even though I do not watch TV. There is internet, which takes main role in providing information these days. Also, we have smartphone application, so we could reach any information we want at anytime, anywhere. There is the Youtube, we could watch variety of videos, too. We do not have to wait until the news starts on TV. We just need to click the issue on the internet or push the button on your phone. It is more efficient than watching TV to get informed. We could get information in real time in everywhere when we use the internet or the smartphone application.
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ReplyDeleteFrom Jieun Choi to Jungin Rhee
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that it has an interesting hook, which is your personal experience.
2. Your main point seems to be you can live without TV, and there are still other interesting things out there rather than TV.
3. The part I liked is "We could get information in real time in everywhere~". Personally, I deeply agree with it.
4. The first sentence in the third paragraph wasn't really clear to me. At first it seemed like you were going to tell us TV plays essential part in gathering information, so we need TV in our lives, until I read third sentence.
5. Adding a conclusion paragraph might be helpful for readers to organize your main points.