When I was little, I couldn't live without TV. Whenever I came back home from school, I ran right away to the living room, sat in front of TV and enjoyed watching my favorite cartoon shows. The reason why I couldn't live without TV in those days was just because of those entertaining TV shows. As I grew up and became in my twenties, however, I have other reasons for that.
First of all, the time I watch TV is almost the only time I can spend with my family. As both of my parents are working and my little brother is in 11th grade, we don't have time to sit together and talk to each other. However, after finishing our daily work and school, we all gather in the living room to watch TV, enjoying talking to each other. I think this is not only the case of my family but most of the families in these days.
Secondly, TV shows only important information compared to the internet. In these days, most of the people use internet to get information. However, every day and time, we are exposed to too many news and information. Because of that, we waste our time surfing the internet or reading articles that is of no importance or accuracy. When we watch TV news program, however, there is lower possibility to waste our time. It starts with each day's most important issues and ends with other minor issues. As now we are living in a flood of information, this characteristic of TV program would be an advantage for us.
Many people say we don't need TV any more because there are alternatives, such as computer or smart phone. Although their points could be reasonable, I think we still need TV for our family relationships or because of the effective way to get information in our lives.
To SunMin Lee From Ju Hye Choi / TV
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is your introduction and how I can relate to it. Also, the two examples in your body paragraph are great. You mentioned the word 'family' and 'waste' and these words are personally very powerful.
2. Your main point seems to be that TV allows you to have family time and in terms of receiving information, TV is a lot more helpful than the internet because the internet has too much information.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
1.‘only time I can spend with my family’
Reason:‘Family’is a word many people feel a strong connection to.
2. 'we waste our time surfing the internet or reading articles that is of no importance or accuracy.'
Reason: It is so true! People can be tempted very easily not giving a second thought on whether or not it is worth the time.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
The word 'that' in the last sentence of the introduction is a little unclear.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is correcting some grammar mistakes. Other than that, it was a pleasure to read :)
To Sumin Lee from Geonwoong Kim, TV assignment
ReplyDeleteI think you wrote your introductory paragraph fairly well. Those sentences are simple, yet describing effectively a common experience which readers could empathize, and by saying there are also another reasons in the last sentence of the paragraph, you ended it well and brought enough interest, so I think.
So, your main points seem to TV's even now - when there are many alternatives - necessary because it could gather family together, and it provides more effective way of getting information.
Creating family bonds is pretty interesting to me, because I rather thought it isolates people, for these days they have somewhat personal TVs in their own room, so it was a fresh point of view.
However about the second point, that TV can distribute information more effectively, personally it's not perfectly persuasive to me, because I think the more you can choose, the many a thing you can get in terms of getting what you want. In my point of view, TV has enough wasteful information, and you aren't so free to avoid them. I think it's rather be better if you can argue your point against other alternatives.