TV: could you do without it.
TV is wonderful electronic device in nowadays. It is hard to think about living without it. Most of people just think that without TV, there will be just less fun. But that is very narrow thinking.
First without TV, we cannot get the fast and equal information. TV gives fast and exact information to everyone all over the world if you just turn on the TV. They are not discriminating the consumer. Without the information your life, for example business or social issues are being late and you can get some problems. Also TV shows many ads to us make employees to earn money. Broadcasting station to advertising company, TV helps our economy to run giving people so many jobs.
As a result without TV we cannot get good quality information and also our economy goes downturn. So TV, could you do without it? Probably I think not.
To Se Jong Lee from Sang Wook Ahn.
ReplyDeleteYour main point seems that you cannot live without TV owing to its benefits in terms of it as an information carrier. I actually did not come up with its economic-related effects. I only thought it within the limit of personal matters. However, you wrote about them in your paragraph, saying that TV shows many ads to us make employees earn money. This particular line stuck me as powerful. And it is perfectly clear for me to read your writing. However, in my opinion, it would be better if you include some contents related with personal things like the way i did in my writing.
Se Jong,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, your essay gave me a "ah-ha" because you included points related to business which I did not think of. It states clearly that you do think it is necessary to have a TV since it gives you so much benefit. It will help a lot if you elaborate or give some example to all the points written. For example, you mentioned : "Discriminating the customer" (Maybe by explaining how customers are being discriminated would help us to see and understand the point clearer. Adding transitions too will make your essay have nice flow.
Keep up the good work.
ChanLan Hong