Sunday, March 17, 2013

Simmy/TV/Tue 9am

  Could I do without TV? My answer is 'yes'.
  There's no doubt that we are able to get lots of information by TV. We know what's going on through different pieces of news, we are also entertained by different kinds of TV series.
  However, I think nowadays Internet is more convenient and flexible.
   Just with a smart phone in your hand, you can search news and watch videos through the Internet wherever you go, there's no need for you to just sit in front of TV to get the information.
  What's more, by watching TV, you have to match the timetable with the favourite programs that you like. On the contrary, through the Internet, you are able to choose the programs more flexibly.And when watching videos on the Internet, you can even skip over the contents that you are not interested in.
  The last but not least, Internet provides the platform of communication between people, like facebook, but TV lacks this type of function. So in my opinion, Internet can even replace TV.
   In conclusion, with the Internet in my hand, I can live without TV.

2 comments:

  1. 201101117 노윤서
    1. What I like about this piece of writing is
    (The body paragraph2 taht supports his views well, and clearly)

    2. Your main point seems to be
    (you can live without TV, because to use internet is more useful than to watch tv.

    3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
    ("Could I do without TV?" ->When i saw the hook, I wanted to read your full essay. )
    4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (process is not clear, and connection is not sufficient in your whole essay.

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  2. To Simmy from Minah Lee

    1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you demonstrated your clear reasons why you can live without TV, since you can use the internet.
    2. Your main point seems that you can live without TV because internet has more functions including things that TV does.
    3. the platform of communication
    : I like them because it brings me up the meaning of the internet in a creative way.
    4. between people
    :Need improving because
    Correct expression would be 'among people'.
    The only change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is bundling paragraphs into introduction, body and conclusion.

    ReplyDelete