Television(TV) has been playing an important role in my life. It has provided me so many benefits such as learning language and experiencing indirect experiences.
When I was looking for helpful learning English method, I got to know a TV show named 'Friends'. As watching each episode, I not only learned new words, idioms and phrases but also American culture and how they communicate with each other. Furthermore, every single episode contained wide range of topics from love and friendship to family and life. Without TV, I wouldn't have been able to improve my English skills as well as my knowledge on American culture.
TV also allowed me to experience tremendous indirect experiences. To be more specific, I've watched a program called 'The Tear of Amazon' which dealt with the life of Amazon primitive tribes and vividly depicted how their lives are destroyed due to the external influences. It was so obvious that TV gave me a chance to look at the other side of the world and ponder about things in a different way in depth.
Thanks to TV, I was able to improve my language skills and to broaden my perspective in terms of obtaining useful information. I was benefited enough to develop the skills I have and learn many things around the world because of TV.
Feedback from Sunmin Lee
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about your writing is that it contains good examples and stories of the writer. Also your writing is really well organized. Your main point seems to be what you said in the first sentence of the conclusion : "Thanks to TV, I was able to improve my language skills and to broaden my perspective in terms of obtaining useful information." I also like this line because it summarizes the whole paragraphs clearly. I think your writing would be better if you use stronger hook sentence.
I like your essay because it contains your personal stories and as a result gives me a better understanding what you are talking about. Your main point seems to be you cannot do without TV. My suggestion to improve your writing is reemphasizing your main point at conclusion so that the introduction and conclusion could be connected better.
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