Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Lo Yun Seo(노윤서)/assignment : TV/tuesday_9-11am

TV : Could you do without it?

Do you think that you can live without water? Perhaps you may say "not".  TV is as important as water in my life. It holds a major seat in my existence.

I am using TV as a device to communicate with societies and people.

First I have gotten a lot of information from TV that helps me understand my world.  I watch "the 9 o'clock news" every day knowing world-wide news. And it helps me not to be isolated from the society that I live in.

 Second, TV helps me to communicate people, feeling same emotions that the people felt. In daily life, we can't experience all emotions that every person feels in her whole life.  But throughout TV, we can do it in a roundabout way. For example,  I  have learned feelings that people feel in a certain situation throughout TV Dramas and comedy program, and it helps me communicate people with feelings.  

 Therefore I can't live without TV, because it gives me much information about my society and has me experience sentiments that I haven't ever had. Through TV I always meet my society and people. Now watching TV is one of the most pleasant things in my life, so I can't live without this pleasure.

2 comments:

  1. To (Lo Yun Seo) From (Hyein Shim)

    1. What I like about this piece of writing is
    (your clear opinion of why you need to watch TV.)

    2. Your main point seems to be
    (You can’t live without TV because it has useful aspects.)

    3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
    (“Tv is as important as water as in my life” – It seems that you really need a TV. This statement looks very powerful. )

    4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
    (If you show which kind of feelings that you learned from TV dramas and comedy shows, I think people can understand more clearly.)

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  2. 1. What I like about this piece of writing is your analogy that comparing TV with water. It is a great hook and very fresh idea.

    2. Your main point seems to be TV has an important role in our lives so we couldn't live without TV.

    3. 'learning emotion' made a good impression on me. At first, I didn't understand why TV makes people communicate. However, the reason was very impressive. I never think about learning feelings from TV programs. It is a great idea.

    4. However, it would be better put more specific word than 'communicate with people' on second reason. Because, learning emotion might help people to understand others better than before, but I'm wondering this can help people directly communicate each other well. It would be better to say 'help people to develop a bond of sympathy.'

    5. Your writing is great overall. However, it would be better to put more specific idea on first reason. The example of the reason is too short to support your idea.

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