Taking Advantage of TV
When I was younger, I heard many people call TV Stupid box. That means watching TV is not desirable. Accordingly, the more time you spend on watching it, the more foolish you will be. I accepted the opinion to be true, and have been rarely done with TV. I still hardly watch, but I think I can take advantage of it.
I don't like seeing most TV programs because I don't think they are good for me. Instead, I usually read my favorite books, listen to songs I like, or watch interesting videos on YouTube. So it's my preference or value which makes me do without TV. For this reason, although I almost never watch TV, I can use it for my own benefits. For example, when it shows a movie that I wanted to see, I can turn on TV, tune in the right channel and enjoy watching it.
From Dayoung Park to Lee SangHoon
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that it is simple but the point that you want to express is clear, and I like the way you think about the TV.
2. Your main point seems to be clear. You think that you don't watch TV, and spend your time doing what you like more. And if you watch TV, it is for your own benefits. I think it is very reasonable and totally agree with your ideas.
3. And I really like the last part, I already said, you watch TV for your own benefit, and usually you do other things instead of watching TV because you show yourself as an example that people can live without TV.
4. However, I can't be sure you provide enough support sentences that tells about why you think this way or example of your behavior patterns, etc.
5. Your writing is so clear, but I think it could be okay if it is longer than now.
Feedback from Sunmin Lee
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about your writing is that it shows your opinion clearly and logically. Also you have an interesting hook already. your main point seems to be 'watching TV is not desirable and you can live without it.' However, I think it would be better if you add stronger thesis statement in your introduction paragraph and also add a conclusion paragraph so that it can restate your main point once again. I liked you used "Stupid Box" to show your negative position about TV and it works well as a part of hook sentence.