TV: Could you do without it?
Jong Beom Cho
Television is now deeply inside our lives. It is undeniable fact that televisions have penetrated into every aspect of our daily lives. We watch televisions to obtain information such as watching the news and documentaries. We watch televisions to entertain ourselves with visual materials such as movies and dramas. We even use television to the extent of marketing and education. In addition, due to the advance in mobile technology, televisions have become much more portable and therefore the impact radius of televisions is growing larger and larger. Considering these current situation, televisions are essential part of our daily lives because they are deeply embedded in our everyday life and the territory of televisions is expanding.
Television is a tool that provides us with news, education, entertainment, advertisements and so on. In the past the intended information was provided in one way communication. However, the technological advancement has allowed televisions to have two-way communication making us use televisions a lot more often and dependent on them. With the televisions equipped with higher communication ability and its mobile ability, televisions are entering our life with greater power than ever before. So considering the fact that television's effect on our life is getting more vivid, the television is a necessity not an option.
From Seonyoung Hwang to Jongbeom Cho
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you made use of powerful words to explain how essential TVs are in our lives.
2. Your main point seems to be TV plays an important role in our lives and it becomes a necessity.
3. 'The technological advancement has allowed TVs to have two-way communication ...' made a good impression on me because it is brilliant to view TVs as mutual way to communicate and it shows how strong it can be in our lives.
4. However, I'm quite not sure how it works when it comes to the two-way communication. I cannot get a picture of it. It would have been better if you put how TV enables us to communicate in a mutual way.
5. Your writing has clear thesis statement that allows me to understand clearly. It'd be much better if you put some specific examples of why it is essential. It's because everybody knows that TV is pervasive but is not sure why it is essential for us.
From Jieun Choi to Jongbeom Cho
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you have strong supporting details. I also liked the introduction listing various roles TV play in our lives.
2. Your main point seems to be TV plays an essential role in people's lives nowadays.
3. I liked "The technological advancement has allowed TVs to have two-way communication" part because I never really thought about it in that way. It was a new point of view for me.
4. I couldn't see a lot of difference between introduction and body. The body paragraph sort of seemed like a paraphrased version of the introduction.
5. You could put more specific examples on the body paragraph.