TV: could you do without it?
TV was a good soporific, especially for my grandmother. She took a remote controller, switched on her favorite channel and started watching dramas. Then slowly I could see how her eyelids were getting heavy and she couldn't struggle against sleep. At that moment I tiptoed and switched on the cartoon channel. The most interesting thing that the moment I changed the channel my grandmother was awake right away and screamed at me: "I'm watching my drama!" Yeah, good memories. But it doesn't happen anymore because I have my own laptop and I have internet which allows me to watch whatever I want. Can I do without TV? Yes, I can. But hold on. What would happen if I didn't have a laptop? Honestly, I would get crazy from boredom.
Less than century ago TV was a luxury. Before if people wanted to brag they were saying: "I got a new TV!" And it was cool. But what about now? TV has become an outdated toy. Someone can disagree with me, but how often do you watch TV? I'm pretty sure that you spend more time with your laptop or ipad watching movie, doing assignment or searching information.
I don't say that we have to throw TV away like unnecessary junk. TV is a good reminder about our past, about our memories and about our achievements.
I like your essay because of the effective hook that you've used at the beginning. It is also an easy-to-read essay. Words/phrases like 'soporific', 'outdated toy' and ' a good reminder about our past, about our memories and about our achievements' struck me powerful since those are effectively conveying your ideas on the topic. However, your essay seems more like a sort of speech, rather than a formal writing as you are using lots of questions or direct speeches. I suggest getting ride of some would have helped to make this essay more formal.
ReplyDelete1.The story about your grandmother reminds me of my own mother. It made me laugh. I think it was a good hook that draws reader into the writing by telling a story than many people can share feelings.
ReplyDelete2.I think your main point is that TV although it can be replaced by much more technologically advanced gadgets but it is still early to call it a junk.
3. 'good soporific'
I think it was suitable word to describe TVs.
4. 'Before if people wanted to brag they were saying...'
maybe you could add a comma or start the sentence with a word other
than 'before'. It sounds a little unnatural
5. I like the start and the conclusion. It was an overall interesting
piece of writing.